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Mike D, age 30, became a bike messenger because he needed a job and they hired immediately. But what began as a matter of convenience has become a commitment to an outlook and community that embraces the irreverent and glories in traveling a different road.
“I’ve worked for a dozen or so companies; sometimes I get fired, sometimes I quit. When I get fired, it’s for insubordination. I’ll tell the boss he’s an asshole—that’s sure to get you fired. You get sick of working at the same place, you don’t like the people that work there, so you quit. “We have Alley Cat races. Which is like your regular, average bicycle race, like the Tour de France, except we do it in the City and there’s tons of cars all around you, and half the competitors are drunk. Most people have probably seen an Alley Cat, but they don’t even know what it is: all of a sudden you’ll see ten guys rip through the light, right in front of you, and almost run you over, and not a single one of them even apologizes. That’s an Alley Cat. “I’m thinking of putting together a racing team of bike messengers, to get them out to a regular road race. If you go to a road race, as one lone guy, it’s really intimidating, ‘cause a lot of the other dudes there are real yuppie jerks, real losers. Everybody’s like, ‘Who’s this freak, I don’t want to ride with this jerk.’ It doesn’t matter that my bike costs just as much or more than theirs’, and I got more years riding than they do. I’d rather just have a crew with me, so I don’t have to sit and make friends and suck up to anybody on the fuckin’ road race circuit. We’ll have our own team, I won’t need to deal with those jerks. They can bite my shiny metal ass. “I used to think that messengers were being treated poorly, you go to a messenger center in a building and the people there are rude to you, but you come to realize that these are just some broke-ass, low-rent, semi-literate people, how else you expect them to act? They’re all jealous of you as a bike messenger, ‘cause you make more money than they do. “I want to say, it’s like that old defunct Army slogan: it’s not just a job, it’s an adventure. I really enjoy this adventure I’ve been on, and I can’t wait to see where it takes me …” |